Remember that age-old saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?" Well, times have changed and words are not only powerful, but are increasingly being used as a weapon. This is a heartbreaking issue, but needs to be addressed specifically in regards to children with autism and other developmental disabilities.
There are two folds to this issue that need to be addressed in order to significantly reduce the amount and severity of bullying and teasing both at home and at school. First, and this may seem more like common sense than anything else, however, appropriate social skills and cues need to be taught by parents and teachers to the individual with the disability. Being careful and diligent in doing this can help to prevent any cases of bullying or teasing to ever take place.
The second fold of this issue is to provide compassionate modeling at home and at school. Compassion and empathy are difficult social skills for any child to develop without consistent modeling from parents and teachers, however these skills are necessary to see the true and hurtful effects of teasing and bullying.
Of course things like this is easier said than done, so here are some practical and do-able ways to start addressing and mend this issue. Begin with social etiquette: Practice maintaining eye-contact and appropriately using transitional/conversational phrases such as greeting, "Hi" and "Bye" or "See you later" and "I've got to go." Also, it is important for individuals with disabilities to know when it is appropriate to apologize and to use "Please" and "Thank you." Simple manners come naturally to typically developing people, so parents and teachers often look past spending a significant amount of time on developing said social skills. Provide opportunities for your child and/or student to practice these skills. Make sure to start small by using modeling and verbal prompting. As time goes on reduce the amount of prompting so that your child is more likely to be able to use these social cues and skills independently when you are not there to coach them.
Now, the area of compassion tends to be more difficult to teach, because let's be honest, it's an innate quality...some people have empathy and compassion and some don't. However, it can be taught and will save your child from being teased by siblings and peers. There needs to be an atmosphere of compassion starting at home. Again, easier said than done, but start with being aware of your own behaviors and your conversational verbiage with everyone in your household. You will be amazed how your behavior and modeling will transfer over to your children's behavior and conversational skills/verbiage.
To help address when bullying or teasing takes place turn to your ABC's. Antecedent, Behavior, and Consequence. Take note of what occurs directly before the actual act of teasing and what happens immediately after. This will help you to decipher exactly what skills need to be improved on and what prompted the sibling and/or peer to tease in the first place. This, of course, takes practice, but has proved to be very beneficial in all areas of behavior and is used, with conviction, in the world of Applied Behavior Analysis.
Lastly, address the teasing behavior by having a candid discussion and ask that for every act of teasing/bullying there needs to be an act of kindness. This will help your child/student to decipher between what is kind and unkind-what is right and wrong.
Here are a few links worth checking out:
How to Tease-Proof your Child with Disability
Bullying Youth with Disabilities
As always this is an issue that will provide more support and impact when discussed with the community. So PLEASE comment and let us know how these tactics worked or where you would like additional support.
Until next time, BLOSSOM!
Lauren Thome, M.A.
